Ready to Become a ‘Heart Foreplay Master’?
As someone who has devoted my entire adult life to helping individuals and couples communicate effectively, I consider my own communication skills to be stellar.
So you can imagine my surprise and irritation when my partner would retreat instead of engage when I peppered him with questions like…
How are you feeling about…?
When will you be ready to talk about…?
Tell me more about…
What I didn’t know then, but have come to realize now is that the way to a man’s heart is through sex, not questions (or as my partner would say, interrogation).
With sex the man is penetrating and the woman is receiving, but with the heart it switches. The feminine heart penetrates and the masculine heart receives.
So just like when a man penetrates too quickly during sex, creating shutdown and disconnection in a woman, when you penetrate a man too quickly with questions you can close his heart and be met with emotional shutdown, disconnection, and even aggression.
So what does a wondering woman do to get a man to talk?!
Become a ‘Heart Foreplay Master’ by mastering the following 3 steps:
Women are conditioned to “lock it down” as quickly as possible, asking questions like…
How do you feel about me?
Are you seeing other people?
Why aren’t you texting more?
While it’s normal to have standards, women ask out of a need to protect themselves from getting hurt and unwittingly push men away with questions. Relax. Let the process naturally unfold and focus on enjoying the moment. When a man feels he has the space to express on his own time, emotional safety is created.
Women are typically better communicators than men. So when a man does finally share his feelings, it’s tempting to scoff at the attempt as inadequate or half-hearted. It’s difficult not to interpret his expressions (or lack thereof) as evidence that he doesn’t care enough about you or the subject matter.
Remember that your partner is wired differently and most likely has not had as many opportunities to safely share his feelings. Instead of responding with a correction or more questions, simply “hold space” and thank him for sharing. This creates the safety necessary to open his heart.
While I would never condone doing something that you don’t feel comfortable with, a sure-fire way to a man’s heart is through sex. Even more potent is when he senses your own interest and effort. Is there something that you know he really likes, but for whatever reason doesn’t happen very often? Do it! Sex is a portal to a man’s heart, just as loving words, fresh flowers, and a romantically planned date is a woman’s portal to sex.
So there it is. You’re on your way to becoming a Heart Foreplay Master!
If you’re looking to explore your Sacred Sexuality on an even deeper level, you can check out my Divine Femme Coaching Package, a 10-session customized coaching experience that unlocks conscious and unconscious blockages standing in your way to attaining your most important life goals. This package will truly ignite and uplevel all areas of your life!