4 Steps to Move through Heartache and Loss with Ease

On April 13, 2023 I received a call that would forever change my life. I had breast cancer. With each passing week I came to gradually understand that my cancer was more severe and required more invasive treatment than I ever dreamt I would need.

The heartache I have endured over the last several months has been eased by grounding myself in the skills I’ve been teaching my clients for years. 

I want to teach you the same process to help you move through heartbreak in the most graceful, efficient and honest way.

This process can be applied with any hardship: ending a romance, parting ways with a friend, losing a business, or receiving difficult news. 

Maybe you’re going through it now, romantic or friendship, or you save this for later, but I think it’s important to be proactive in learning these tools to better support you when things do come up.

Here’s what you can do:

Label your Emotions.

What are you feeling? Abandonment? Loneliness? Fear?

Let the Feeling Speak.

Literally, get a pen + paper and write out your emotions, letting them speak in the present tense + in first person. “I feel lonely. I am sad by myself. Will I be ok without this person in my life?”

Meet these Feelings with Love.

Breathe into the contraction in your body with presence + acceptance for whatever is here, giving it full permission to be exactly as it is and discover what happens.

Let Love Speak.

Now write from a place of Love speaking directly to these feelings on paper. Like a parent embracing a child, let these feelings of loneliness, abandonment, or whatever else you’re feeling… be the child, being comforted and met by Love.

It’s not the feeling that hurts. It’s the resistance to the feeling that hurts.

These feelings are just looking to be met with love. And in our innocence, we abandon them by looking for love in the world around us – instead of in the world within us.

This process may sound overly simple. And that’s because it is! It’s so much easier than we think… this is what I call the Direct Path. We simply need to feel into our emotions directly within us.

Emotions only need 90 seconds to truly be allowed… and then they move on.

You may have thought that since you felt love in the presence of another person – it was because of them. But that is not the case. The love was already within you, therefore, it can never be taken away.

The secret is to realize that what you’re looking for is in YOU! In knowing this, we feel our power again.

As you meet all parts of yourself that you didn’t accept, you begin to feel your radiance + heart again.

In doing this, you’re not afraid someone will take it away from you since you know the source of love is in you… and you feel more free, more loving, more open.

You discover a bigger love that is always present.

“The biggest embrace of love you’ll ever make is to embrace yourself completely.

Then you’ll realize you’ve just embraced the whole universe and everything and everybody in it.” 

– Adyashanti

(If you have Big T trauma, please don’t do this process alone. Instead, it’s best to work with a psychotherapist.) 

If you have a heartache that needs help processing, please know that you are not alone. I am here to help.  Schedule a free consultation today.