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Choosing Growth: A Journey from Tragedy to Triumph

May 29, 2024

It was April 14th, 2024, and I was experiencing the indescribable.
On the ground, lying completely still. Arms outstretched. My grandma’s blanket covering my body.
From the outside looking in, all was quiet.
But the inside? I was experiencing a kaleidoscope of brilliant shapes and colors.
Except I was the kaleidoscope.
Somehow, the ever-revolving shapes and colors were layers of my inner self unfolding, revealing my true nature as a divine being.
In awe, I reflected, “This? This is who I’ve been the whole time?”
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One year before, I’d been reeling from: a painful breakup, learning my daughter was being bullied at school, and a business in crisis.
Then, I got unthinkable news: I had breast cancer.
It seemed like the final blow. And I just felt powerless.
How could I cut back on work hours to focus on health when my business needed more of me to bring in enough money to cover my mounting medical bills? Who would help my kids navigate the choppy waters of life if I wasn’t around? What would healing from heartbreak look like now when fresh grief was piled on top of it?
No one would have blamed me for breaking down, wailing about how life isn’t fair, and eating all the thin mint girl scout cookies in North America.
But is powerless who I wanted to be? Is it how I wanted to live?
Sure, I couldn’t change what was happening in my body, stop the breakup from hurting, instantly fix my business, or even go all Mama Bear on those bullies at my kid’s school.
But I could choose to change my point of view. The view I picked?
To see my diagnosis as an opportunity for some serious growth. Which, curiously enough, led to that magical day in Greece…
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So there I was, one year after diagnosis, in one of the most gorgeous spots on earth, surrounded by loving people, coming together for a sacred ritual involving an earth medicine called Bufo.

Everyone in attendance was there for different reasons. But for me, the ceremony was a celebration. Of the new life I’d created out of tragedy. Of my choice to grow. Of the fact that no matter what happens outside you, or even inside your own body, you get to choose the mindset with which you live your life.

Today, I owe so many beautiful parts of my life to that chapter of diagnosis, treatment, and the choice I made to grow through it.

Such as the motivation to build stronger systems in my life and business. Which led to a search for more profound ways to find security and guidance. Which led to Greece.All because I chose to view tragedy as an opportunity. (Sure, it’s unexpected, but it also worked! Do what works for you!)
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Today, looking back over my year makes me wonder what you see when you look at yours —Maybe you smile, remembering the strength you showed up with to the challenges you faced.

Or, perhaps, you cringe at the pain of unsatisfying patterns.

Whatever you see is alright. Because it only takes a moment to recommit to a choice you can thrive in or choose a new choice that serves you better.

Yes, you can get by just surviving. But, if you’re anything like me, you’d rather really LIVE.
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Earth medicines like psilocybin, Bufo, and ayahuasca can bring awareness to unconscious patterns, radically shift perspectives, and spur changes that serve you better than your current operating system.

If you’re curious about these sacred healing modalities, reply to this email or set up a 15 min consultation below. I’m happy to direct you to local practitioners and provide support before and after your plant medicine experience so you can make the most of it.
To close this chapter about hard days, good choices, and truly living, here’s what a friend calls ‘a poem for genuine badasses’ by author and cultural icon Charles Bukowski:

The Laughing Heart
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission
be on the watch
there are ways out
there is a light somewhere
it may not be much light but it beats the darkness
be on the watch
the gods will offer you chances
know them
take them
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes
and the more often you learn to do it
the more light there will be
your life is your life
know it while you have it
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight in you
Remember you are marvelous, and YOU get to choose how you live each chapter of your story.
Rooting for you,

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